Kasia, since this blog explores and has the purpose to inspire others to push themselves out of comfort zones and redefine themselves with eventually new boundaries, would you please share your story of being a mum and travelling artist?
I feel the luckiest that I have strong circle of loving and supportive friends around me here in Scotland. Without them it would be nearly impossible for me to do what I do for so long. It will be 10 years soon since I started performing and I never had to resign from the opportunity to travel just because I am a single mother. I also don’t have parents, so I am the most grateful to everyone who looked after my son each time I was going away. I sometimes felt guilty when I was leaving my son at home, that was especially when I was travelling to very cool places that I knew he would love to go to, but he never felt upset about it and was enjoying time spent with my friends. You know, they let him watch cartoons and play on xbox much longer than I would allow him! They would organise creative activities with him when I was away, so he never felt neglected. I would always and I still am – text or call before departing on the plane, when I land, in the morning to say “good morning” and ask what he had for breakfast, middle of the day and in the evening. Most of the time he was annoyed that I called so often, but I would prefer for him to be annoyed with my calls, than upset ,feeling left or forgotten.
When he turned 15 I wanted to give him a bit of a freedom and I stopped calling that often, I limited it only to 3 calls a day when I am away, and what melts my heart is that he is the one calling me now. Most of the time to tell me about his day and asking how is my work going and if I am okay.
There was one time, last year, when he was about to turn 15, when I was absolutely heartbroken because I had job exactly on his birthday. I asked him, of course, if he would like me to do not take that job, he said he doesn’t mind at all. I was emotional that entire weekend and I would cry a lot.
There’s something so special about his birthday, that’s when we were both born – he as a human, and me as a new person with a new purpose. He was born on the 6th of June at 2:31am. When I held him for the first time he would hold my finger with his tiny hand. Since then, each year on the 6th of June, I would go to his bedroom to hold his hand at 2:31am. Last year I couldn’t and it was breaking my heart. He said he will stay up until 2:30 so I can call him. And so he did. He stayed up and picked up my phone call. We both cried a little. I still have eyes full of tears as I am typing this.
What I am trying to say is that being a mother doesn’t mean you can’t make your dreams come true, your passions to evolve, and that you can’t travel. It means that every time you travel you have someone to come back to, who will miss you, who will appreciate your presence, who will learn from you to reach for their dreams. You will show your child an example that you can be both and love both, performing and being a parent. Being a mother is the biggest role in my life and something that I chose to be, my son is my world, my biggest motivation and my biggest support (even though these days he is a typical grumpy teenager!). Since he was small I would take him to family friendly events I would perform at, and take him on photo shoots whenever I could. He knows everything about that I do and is beyond understanding and respectful towards my life choices. That way he was open minded from the very young age. He seen a lot, he met so many creative and colourful people, from different countries, different ethnicities, genders etc. Now, when he turned 16, he can come with me to most of the events, which is absolutely great!
Is there any advice you want to give to all the people who wish to free themselves into a new experience of self expression?
Jump! Even if you don’t know how, just say yes. Of course all within safety, so check who is your teacher, who is an event organiser, photographer, rigger etc. References is the key to being safe. I always, always check who I am going to. You need to love yourself and look after yourself, especially if you are about to do it on your own. Check with your doctors regularly, as without health it’s not easy to be adventurous. Regular blood check, dentist, and other basic specialists are essential. Besides of that? Just say yes to opportunities. Even if someone offers you type of photo shoot, performance or anything else that you never tried before, it doesn’t mean you are not going to be great at this. If you don’t know how, ask those that do know – most of the people love to share their passions with others. As they say, fake it till you make it!
Meet Kasia http://www.skinny-art.co.uk/ <3
